Current:Home > ContactAt 68, she wanted to have a bat mitzvah. Then her son made a film about it. -FinanceCore
At 68, she wanted to have a bat mitzvah. Then her son made a film about it.
View
Date:2025-04-22 05:43:30
They say a boy’s best friend is his mother. For director Nathan Silver, she’s also his muse.
Over the last decade, teacher Cindy Silver has appeared in several of her son’s films, as well as his 2019 docuseries, “Cutting My Mother.” Their latest collaboration, “Between the Temples” (in theaters now), is a wry and tender riff on “Harold and Maude” that follows a widowed cantor named Ben (Jason Schwartzman) and his much older pupil, Carla (Carol Kane), as she studies for a late-in-life bat mitzvah.
The comedy is loosely inspired by Cindy’s experience as a culturally Jewish woman, who at 68, enrolled at her local temple in Kingston, New York, in a b’nai mitzvah class (a gender-neutral term for multiple people going through the ritual). She doesn’t star in the movie, although she makes a cameo.
Join our Watch Party!Sign up to receive USA TODAY's movie and TV recommendations right in your inbox
“This role needed a real actress, not just his mother,” jokes Cindy, 74, on a late-morning Zoom call with Nathan, 41, who lives in Brooklyn. She is “thrilled” and “happy” to help promote the film, but “I’m also just excited to look at my son! We don’t get to see each other too much.”
Need a break? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle.
How Cindy Silver's bat mitzvah journey helped inspire the movie 'Between the Temples'
In Judaism, bar and bat mitzvahs are widely considered a teenage rite of passage, signaling a grown-up step forward into the religious community. As such, “Between the Temples” offers a rare onscreen depiction of the ritual for adults, joining a unique pop-culture pantheon that includes episodes of “The Simpsons,” “Touched by an Angel” and “The Dick Van Dyke Show.”
“That’s Mount Rushmore!” Nathan says with a laugh. “I’m honored.”
There are a variety of reasons why someone may not have a mitzvah when they’re young: the financial pressures of a blow-out party; the relative rarity of bat mitzvahs until the 1970s; or the months-long preparation required, which can prove challenging for children with different learning abilities. Some kids feel that a bar or bat mitzvah doesn’t align with their gender expression, while others may not convert to Judaism until they’re well into adulthood. Older members of the community might have been prevented from having a ceremony during times of Jewish oppression, such as the Holocaust.
Cindy grew up in Queens, New York, in a secular Jewish home. “My mother would make veal parmesan, and my friends who had kosher households would come to eat at our house,” she recalls. Instead of going to temple, “we’d go to Pete Seeger concerts. But my dad was always saying Yiddishisms, which drove my mother crazy, and she could not stand that I had a sing-song Jewish inflection, which I got from my father.”
Although her parents weren’t religious, they taught her the values of Judaism from an early age: “My dad was always banging the table, screaming, ‘If you have your health, you have everything! Just do good in the world!’ That’s a very Jewish ideal: tikkun olam, ‘repairing the world.’ ”
Like his mom, Nathan wasn’t raised religious and didn’t have a bar mitzvah. Growing up, “my whole Jewish DNA was the humor,” says the filmmaker, who had an early appetite for “Seinfeld” and Mel Brooks comedies. But he’s always been fascinated by how people connect spiritually and to each other.
“What interests me about Judaism is it's a religion of questions. Every question is met with another question,” Nathan says. Rather than worry about the afterlife, Judaism implores people to focus on the now and “embrace what’s in front of you. And I think that’s essential for the characters in this movie: They need other people in order to find themselves.”
In the film, an unlikely love story blossoms between Carla and Ben as they prepare for her bat mitzvah. That aspect of the movie is not true to life. (Cindy's husband of 55 years, Harvey, is just off camera as she chats.) But she could relate to the community that Carla finds in going to temple.
Six years ago, after a friend’s partner died, “we all decided to rally around her and have a b’nai mitzvah together,” Cindy says. Initially, she was “entranced” by her dive into the Jewish faith: “I was going to the rabbi’s studio for meditation and Torah study, and it was brilliant. It’s all discussion and coming up with what everything means, and I love that about Judaism. I felt very accepted because my rabbi would take anyone in. I was like, ‘I want to learn more.’ “
The movie resonates with adults who chose late-in-life bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs
But eventually, Cindy and her friends dropped out of the class, discouraged by some of the required reading and memorization. Carla faces similar ups and downs in "Between the Temples," which is part of why the movie has resonated with viewers since its Sundance Film Festival debut in January. Nathan says he’s met many older filmgoers on their own religious paths, some of whom have recently had bar or bat mitzvahs: “It’s neat to have them say that it really reflected their experience.”
One of those audience members was Rivanna Hyman, 74, a Long Island resident. She technically became a bat mitzvah around age 12 while visiting family in Israel, more on a whim and without the same prep and prayer responsibility. But for decades, “I felt I had not earned the bat mitzvah title that was bestowed upon me,” Hyman says. So at age 48, after two years of study, she and 10 other women had a b’not mitzvah (the plural for women and girls).
“I could understand Carla's desire to achieve this milestone in her life,” Hyman says. “For all audiences, I hope they will come away with a greater understanding of the need for someone to accomplish a specific goal."
As for Nathan's mom, she's not interested in resuming her studies for a bat mitzvah. Rather, "I would like to keep reading and exploring on my own,” Cindy says. “I’ll continue my journey as a Jew, but not in a temple because I’ve moved on. And my husband was dragged to services after 50 years – he does not want to go to them!"
veryGood! (17264)
Related
- Retirement planning: 3 crucial moves everyone should make before 2025
- Messi's revenge game: Here's why Inter Miami vs. Monterrey is must-watch TV
- What causes nosebleeds? And why some people get them more than others.
- Supreme Court won't stop execution of Missouri death row inmate Brian Dorsey
- Apple iOS 18.2: What to know about top features, including Genmoji, AI updates
- Biden could miss the deadline for the November ballot in Alabama, the state’s election chief says
- Devin Booker Responds to Rumor He Wears a Hairpiece
- Why Sam Taylor-Johnson Says It Took Years to Regain Confidence After Directing Fifty Shades
- What to know about Tuesday’s US House primaries to replace Matt Gaetz and Mike Waltz
- Cirque du Soleil’s Beatles-themed Las Vegas show will end after an 18-year run
Ranking
- IRS recovers $4.7 billion in back taxes and braces for cuts with Trump and GOP in power
- Authorities offer $45,000 for info leading to arrest in arson, vandalism cases in Arizona town
- Judge rules that Ja Morant acted in self-defense when he punched teenager
- Rihanna discusses 'cautious' start to dating A$AP Rocky, fears that come with motherhood
- NFL Week 15 picks straight up and against spread: Bills, Lions put No. 1 seed hopes on line
- Pennsylvania makes a push to attract and approve carbon capture wells
- 'We just went nuts': Michael Keaton shows new 'Beetlejuice' footage, is psyched for sequel
- Morgan Wallen, Luke Combs and Megan Moroney headline 2024 ACM Award nominations list
Recommendation
Dick Vitale announces he is cancer free: 'Santa Claus came early'
Water charity warns Paris Olympic swimmers face alarming levels of dangerous bacteria in Seine river
USPS is looking to increase the price of stamps yet again. How much can you expect to pay?
Is the U.S. in a vibecession? Here's why Americans are gloomy even as the economy improves.
Global Warming Set the Stage for Los Angeles Fires
Democrats Daniels and Figures stress experience ahead of next week’s congressional runoff
Scientists Are Studying the Funky Environmental Impacts of Eclipses—From Grid Disruptions to Unusual Animal Behavior
When Will Paris Hilton Share Photos of Baby Girl London? She Says…